The Blasted Doldrums!

The Red Stockings’ once-mighty batting brigade now resembles a great clipper ship becalmed in the horse latitudes. There’s no vim to their swinging. No clout in their ash. No huzzahs and handshakes from cheerful team-mates welcoming a compatriot back from the full-circuit of the diamond.

Accordingly, there are no “wins” in the recent box-scores, and this Rooter is getting restless! When the lone “run” achieved by the squad comes from the surprise swat of "Simple Jack" Lackey, it is apparent that there is a malaise among the Nine.

Why, I’ve seen my grandfather direct Rummy Pete to put down cows with the Trembles who yet appeared more healthy than this lot of lulus!

Gentlemen, please return to your fence-busting feats, and bring joy back to Rooters’ hearts!

Three cheers for a "sweep"!

The Bostons manhandled the visiting Torontos in capital style over the course of three games, serving notice that they will not allow their Northern rivals to enjoy divisional pre-eminence for much longer.

“Nothin’ Doin” Lester displayed fine mettle on the mound, surrendering a mere one “run” to the flighty bird-men. Our crack squad of reserve hurlers picked up the thread and sewed the sack shut.

Meanwhile, our batsmen continued their assault on hapless Toronto twirlers, with our own resident alien Jason “Argonaut” Bay once again making the loudest clout. A forceful message indeed that this mild-mannered Canadian gives no quarter to a squad representing his homeland!

To-night, the Bostons cross bats with the Metropolitans of the National League, in the annual diversion of inter-league contests. Tho’ fielding a weakened aggregation, the “Mets” ride forth this evening behind their own General, the spectactular-hurling Johan Santana. Will the returning Matsuzaka-san measure up to the task?

Rooters wait in keen anticipation!

June Gloom

The glorious summer sun resolved today to no longer hide its warming glow under a bushel, yet this rooter can’t shake the damp gloom that so recently gripped his corner of the Red Stocking’d Nation.

The annual barnstorming tour of National League competitors is historically an occasion for our team to exert its might over lesser squads, tallying “wins” that propel them to the October tournament of champions. This year, however, there’s been a decided absence of vim from the local nine when presented the chance to make hay.

Falling twice to the Scarlet Birds of St. Louis -- in matches contested at Friendly Fenway no less! Allowing a taut twirling duel to slip into the “loss” column after repeatedly positioning men at the second and third bags and failing to deliver a conclusive swat! This is not the play of defending World Champions.

Even glimpses of hope are quickly darkened with shadow: “Yukon” Youkilis connects for a dramatic, victory-sealing four-ply drive one day; the next, he’s off the field and on the physician’s table after an errant toss of the pill connects with his orbital socket!

If the squad can not shape up tonight and demonstrate why they’ve achieved the apex of the base-ball world, Yukon won’t be the only team-member sporting a purple “shiner.”