Special Delivery to the Bostons

So chagrined am I by the dreadful ball-playing of the local nine that last night I took a few coppers from my recent winnings at the greyhound track (where else is a Rooter to spend time during the All-Star Pause?) and dictated a Western Union telegram message directly to the flannel-wearing flailers.

Herewith are the contents of the message. It is my sincere hope that a chum of mine in the Anaheim clubhouse was able to deliver it in time to set these boys onto the diamond in the proper frame of mind to secure a “win” to-night.

NL 10:52PST 21JUL08.

BOSTON RED STOCKING BASE BALL CLUB

ANGEL STADIUM OF ANAHEIM, CALIF.

THE POOR QUALITY OF YOUR BALL-PLAYING IS WAFTING A STINK OF FAILURE FROM THE WESTERN JET-STREAM STOP DERBYS EXHIBITION GAMES AND LEISURE DAYS ARE OVER STOP MEANINGFUL MATCHES ARE NOW BEING CONTESTED WHICH REQUIRE YOU TO RESUME EFFECTIVE TWIRLING CAT-LIKE GLOVEWORK AND PILL-PUNISHING CLOUTING STOP GODSPEED KNUCKLES WE HAVE FULL FAITH IN YOU

STUFFY MCINNES MAINE