Sunday, June 12, 2011

A remarkable message to send!


You've probably noticed, loyal reader, that your correspondents at FCC have been away for some time now.

Well, the truth can now be told: Hurdy, SD and I were on a secret scouting mission to sniff out some Nipponese pitching talent in Honshu and Hokkaido, now that Mr. Matsuzaka has subjected himself to the surgeon's scalpel.

It is important to keep those Eastern tourists flocking to Yawkey Way, so their Yen may be spent on Wally dolls and miniature replica bats!

So this explains our protracted absence. We trust our many thousands of avid rooters will not begrudge us the need to take time off for this important work.

Alas, we were not able to uncover much in the way of shuuto hurlers and gyroballers in the Land of the Rising Sun. We did enjoy some delectable sashimi and some potent sake, however.

And we did receive a rather startling telegram, sent to us directly from the Lower Depths tavern on Commonwealth Avenue in Boston Towne:

BOYS, WE HAVE OURSELVES A TEAM HERE. THEY HAVE MADE QUICK WORK OF THEIR RECENT COMPETITION. CONSECUTIVE SWEEPS OF OAKLAND, NEW YORK AND TORONTO. NINE GAMES AND COUNTING. AND ROUTS LEFT AND RIGHT! SO FAR 83 RUNS SCORED. SEE YOU SOON STATESIDE.

We all had a good laugh upon the receipt of that note. Obviously some pie-eyed punter had spilled a tall can of Narragansett on the telegram machine, causing typographical errors to be made, because such preposterous numbers simply cannot be true. Can they?

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