A knock-out!

At the completion of this three-round bout, the Bostons stood tall while the Gothams lay prone on the canvas like a battered palooka!

Snappy twirling by “Nickles” Penny and another four-ply drive from the Colossus accounted for the major blows. But a series of well-placed jabs from nearly every Boston squad member helped send their opponent tumbling.

And now, the glum Gothams rumble home on their steam train, holding a steak to their blackened eye. Good show!

Sweeping out Gotham

After a humiliating series in the miasma-infested hippodrome of the Tampas, the Local Nine steamed north for their first visit to the new base-ball edifice of the New Yorks. To the delight of Rooters all across New England, our boys were very unwelcome guests.

That facility’s preposterous trappings of empire failed to cow our lion-hearted ball men, who instead made clout upon clout ring out through the city’s damp skies. The only sound louder than the crack of ash against horsehide was the invective hurled toward their own team by enraged bleacherites, many bundled in mackintoshes and ulsters against the miserable weather conditions. Seems the New York crowd is feeling a bit fleeced this spring – from both the outrageous fees required to enter the turnstiles of the new ball grounds, and from the high-priced ringers acquired during the off-season who as yet are counting more silver dollars than “hits” or “quality starts.”

Pardon me if I fail to sympathize with those whinging malcontents -- I have a ball game to follow this evening, as the Clevelands arrive for two tilts in Fenway Park.

Push the broom, gents!

The heroes of Boston made no doubt of their clouting abilities during the three days of matches with the Texan ball-men, performing a "sweep" of the Rangers of Arlington. True, the Texans wield some heavy ash, but their hurlers were certainly affected by some sort of distemper or other affliction.

But looking forward, Rooters around the nation are contemplating whether our new twirler, Paul "Frasier" Byrd, will lay a gem or an egg on the Fenway mound. Since he's matched against the formidable Roy "Smeck" Halladay, Let's hope for the former from Byrd and his new-fangled pitching contortions!

Go get 'em, Red Stockinged heroes of the Fens!

Can a homecoming end a five-match losing jag?

A shameful week-end of base-ball concluded with a harrowing sight on the score-board: Nine chapters of consecutive “goose eggs” for the Bostons. The lack of batting so appalled one dour spectator that he was moved to wonder whether the Nine had traded their man-stunning clubs for flimsy riding crops that could barely startle a mule into his trot!

Such speculation misses the true cause of our woes: It is not the lumber in the bats-mens’ hands, but the venue in which they engaged their rivals. Surely it is no coincidence that the only occasions of a triple loss to the same opponent have come in new-fangled base-ball “gymnasiums” -- better suited for bouts of sparring and wrestling than for the beauties of the stick-and-ball.

Perhaps the ceilings are trapping miasmas that befuddle our mighty swatters. Or, the lack of glorious spring sun-shine may be sapping our Grip-ridden boys of their vigor. Whatever the cause, a return to the verdant turf and gentle wind currents of Fenway’s fine park should revive the local squad like a strong dose of salts.