Injured before the battle starts

Every good general knows not to put the troops in danger in advance of a campaign. Yet two of our fellas from the dirt ring -- second sacker Lil' Hands Pedroia and between-sacker Julio "High Pockets" Lugo -- have been afflicted by muscle strains and other assorted maladies.

What gives, Skipper? Have you been putting the lads through their paces in a too-accelerated manner? For instance, is High Pockets' water-on-the-knee the result of too many "jumping jacks"? Several prominent sporting physicians have declared such calisthenics too impactful on a man's joints, yet our Skipper insists on the merits of stand-in-place exercises.

Perhaps this infernal World-wide Baseball Consortium tournament is to blame for Lil' Hands' strain to his sidewall. It certainly makes sense that the rambunctious rabble-rouser, ol' number one-five, would exert himself to the straining point to show the international sides the true depth of our base-ball league's Most Vaunted Player.

All's well that ends well, we hope, as Monday broke with news that the setbacks may not threaten our dirt-ring dandies. In fact, Lil' Hands seems positively sure his sidewall is in fine fettle.

A brief pause, and the campaign continues.

The return of "Two Bags" Lowell!

Our intrepid third bagger, Mikey "Two Bags" Lowell, returned to the pitch for the first time in game duty this young season after suffering with a bum hip for much of the Red Stocking's last campaign.

What a relief to see him stretching his once-balky joints along the playing field! What a delight to see his Florida-bred swing slice through the rarefied citrus-scented air of the Peninsula State!

And to heap even more pleasure on the proceedings, Two Bags struck well in his batting stance, heaving the horsehide over the 'tween-bagger's head and into the out-field grass. Huzzah, Two Bags!

His nimble feet were not to be tested to-day as Skipper T. Francona substituted a yannigan base-runner as his replacement. However, I hope to witness old Two Bags reach the bases and even burgle a sack to put his repaired hip through its paces. Then I will certainly be assured that the redoubtable Two Bags will assume his proper placement at the "hot" corner.

Spring continues, and hope springs eternal, dear Rooters!

Spring profile: Penny for your thoughts?

Bradford Albersquela Penny: Six feet and four inches of 30-year old, right-handed hurling.

But beyond his towering physicality, what does Bradford -- or "Nickels", per his rambunctious Los Angeles benchmates -- offer to the collection of Red Stockinged heroes assembling on the southern Gulf Coast of Florida? Others have opined, but let me add our thoughts. Herewith, a list, divined from my well-placed sources in Fort Myers and telegraphed northward with all due haste:

• Nickels enjoys a dandy game of cribbage, and has been seen ribbing Lil' Hands and Manager Terrence over their card-playing acumen.
• He is the most recent National League base-ball hurler to strike out four batters in one inning -- a mind-bendingly difficult feat, yet one that never fails to excite the crowded Rooters.
• Nickels is reunited with his former hurling chum, Gen. Joshua P. Beckett, who together slayed the Gotham Yankees in the World Series six years ago. It is surely fate that has brought both aces to Boston, which was on the brink of despair after losing so cruelly to those Gothamists that same six years ago.
  
• Nickels is not a sock garter man. No, he has vowed his allegiance to the contemporary elasticized stocking. A modern man, without doubt!

Please welcome Bradford "Nickels" Penny.

We at Full Circuit Clout will bring you more "Spring profiles" as the Red Stockings begin their springtime campaign in sunny Florida.

O, to be a yannigan!

The above photo-graphic is just a place-holder for this column's main subject, Chris "Smitty" Smith, the yannigan hurler who has ridden the rookie express from Pawtucket twice this season to take the hill for the Mighty Bostons.

We at Full Circuit Clout celebrate the righty twirler Smitty for overcoming terrible adversity and becoming a man among men. Despite allowing a four-man clout in his first appearance, the California Kid has been a welcome addition to the Bostons' hurling corps. We entreat the manager, Terrence "Tito" Francona, to serve more heaping helpings of yannigan exploits.

Smitty, we salute you!