The birds! The birds!

What horror awaits the Bostons in tonight's matchup with those grain-sniping feathered fiends from the Streets of Baltimore? Will the Dread Markakis snare pill after pill from his out-field perch? Will Kevin "Gypsum Pants" Millar trudge around the bases following a full-circuit clout? Will Chad "Pushbroom" Bradford side-wind his way around the potent Boston roster?

Many questions! Few answers! Let the games begin!