Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Live by the clout, die by the clout

Like the lyrics of that oh-so-popular tune of the day, the Bostons left their luck in Cincinnati and their heart in Terre Haute.

The terror of the Philadelphia Philadelphias was on full display yesterday evening, as the Most Vigorous Players of the last two years cried "Charge!" and put their team in the head. Jimmy "Dynamite" Rollins and Ryan "The Temp" Howard put on an offensive showcase that hasn't been witnessed in the City of Brotherly Love since John Adams famous accosting of Ben Franklin in Independence Hall over the latter's lewd behavior with the courtesans of gay Paris.

To the moon went the orb! One after one other went the pill into the bleacher seating as the Philadelphia Philadelphias ratcheted up the swatting fury from the very first pill hurled. Poor Bartholomew "El Gordo" Colon! The corpulent hurler must have washed away his tears with molasses and chewing candy. A dismal time for the Bostons, indeed.

Tonight, "Nothin' Doin'" Jonny Lester paws the mound against an elderly Jaime "Pappy" Moyer, the aging southpaw whose hurling arm is held together with bailing wire and gumption. A fine June evening at the ball-park, and an even finer evening for the Bostons to take liberties with the Philadelphia Philadelphias!

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